The concept of conscious complaining can help you to avoid giving free rein to your anger. This may help you achieve your goal better than with anger and a lot of complaining. You do not need any complaints when it comes to the crazy time game.
Every one of us has certainly complained at some point, and the occasions are almost endless. The reason for the complaint can be private, it can be about the neighbor, the restaurant, colleagues, or even the whole world. But how often do we complain about something, and how often do we change something?
There will probably always be people who just like to moan and complain, so-called “complainers.” But for those who want to change something, conscious complaining could be the solution.
AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO GRUMBLING
You often see people complaining about something in the wrong tone of voice and in a rage. They seem annoyed, irritated, or angry. And sometimes, this “venting” is not a bad thing at all. According to family therapist Brigit Salewski, it can even have a positive effect:
- ‘Complaining relieves stress because we let our feelings out.
- By complaining, we come into contact with people who feel the same way.
- It can lead to solidarity and create a sense of community.
- Complaining draws attention to the issue.
Complaining or moaning is initially better than saying nothing at all. After all, if you bottle up your negative feelings, you won’t get anywhere in the long run. However, psychologist Jeffrey Lohr points out that constant venting has a negative effect.
Conscious complaining closes precisely this gap: Instead of blurting out unthinkingly, you formulate the complaint in a strategic and solution-oriented way.
This is how mindfulness comes into the complaint
Conscious complaining and mindfulness can be learned. According to Statista, 72% respond to poor service with an immediate complaint, and 83% warn other people about the company. Only 38 percent formulate an email or letter of complaint. Given the emotionality behind complaints, it is reasonable to assume that the warnings and immediate complaints are communicated less mindfully than the written email.
Consciousness means consciously experiencing the moment and listening to your inner self. Good news: Mindfulness can be learned.
In terms of “Conscious Complaining”, this means becoming aware of and reflecting on negative feelings in a situation. In other words, not bursting out of yourself.
5 TIPS
Step by step out of emotions and towards mindful complaints. If you complain to achieve an improvement, it is best to do so very consciously. Psychiatrist Dr. Samantha Boardman formulates five specific tips for mindful complaining:
- Count to 10 and breathe consciously: Your anger will dissipate if you focus on your breath.
- Go for a walk: Time spent in nature usually helps to put your feelings into perspective.
- Plan your complaint strategically:
- Only complain if it serves a purpose.
- Stick to the facts and stick to a logical argument.
- Be aware of what you want and how you can achieve it.
- Choose the right time and the right contact person for your complaint.
- Name your feelings: When you verbalize your feelings, their impact is reduced. Admitting that you are upset or angry reduces the emotional burden. If these are long-term issues, a diary can help you to better understand and control your feelings.
- Make a “complaint sandwich”: It’s best to place your complaint between two positive statements. If you positively formulate your concerns, your counterpart will be less defensive and more motivated to change something or accommodate you.
Letting off steam now and then is not a bad thing. If the complaining becomes too much, it will only drag you and those around you down. Instead, choose the path of conscious complaining and formulate your concern as a mindful, strategic complaint.
