On television and in movies, divorce is often portrayed unrealistically. Scriptwriters are good at reducing a complex legal process to a few dramatic scenes that show a few emotional outbursts and a single signed document. In reality, divorce isn’t that simple. You can’t just sign some papers and mail them to the court and call it a day.
Here’s what actually happens during a divorce.
There’s a full legal process, not just paperwork
Movies often give the impression that divorce is as simple as one spouse heading to the courthouse to sign a document that ends the marriage. But filing for a divorce creates a formal legal case that must go through all the proper court procedures to resolve claims regarding property, child custody, child support, debt, and more. Any mistakes made during the initial filing can push the outcome out by months or years.
Everyone has the legal right to represent themselves during a divorce, and some courts try to make it easier for people who choose this route by providing DIY divorce packets. This approach works for most people with relatively simple situations. However, if your divorce involves children, shared assets, shared debt, or investments, you’re better off hiring a divorce attorney to protect your rights and interests.
Divorces rarely go to trial
Divorce scenes in the movies depict intense emotional exchanges in the courtroom, but most divorces settle before going to trial. Most of the work happens through written filings, not live testimony. Here’s what a divorce really involves:
- Detailed disclosures. Both parties submit detailed financial information regarding income, assets, debt, and expenses.
- Waiting periods. Many states have mandatory waiting periods before a divorce can be finalized to ensure due process.
- Procedural motions. These motions address immediate issues while the case is pending. Sometimes this involves temporary custody arrangements, use of the marital home, or a restraining order.
- Administrative hearings. These hearings typically involve scheduling conferences and compliance reviews.
- Fixing paperwork errors. Even minor paperwork errors can delay a case. Sometimes paperwork needs to be resubmitted with corrections for various reasons.
Real divorce cases are boring and require plenty of patience. They involve a large amount of paperwork and little to no courtroom drama.
Property division isn’t split down the middle
Movie scenes tend to depict property distribution as some kind of punishment unfairly inflicted on one spouse. In reality, courts divide property based on equitable distribution. It’s not split down the middle and it can’t be divided in a way that punishes either spouse.
First, courts will determine what property is marital and then assign a monetary value. Some items require professional appraisal, like stock options, homes, businesses, and retirement accounts. Marital property will then be divided based on what’s fair. For example, if one spouse earns far less money than the other, they’re likely to get more of the valuable property, including the house. This is especially true if that spouse also has a lower earning capacity.
Debt is also divided even if only one spouse created the debt. This applies to credit cards and loans.
Child custody is determined according to the best interests of the child
Although movies make it seem like custody is given to the parent who can convince the judge they love their child more, it’s actually far less dramatic. Intentions and love aren’t enough. Judges will scrutinize each parent’s history regarding who has been handling the daily care, schooling, medical appointments, and routines. This parent will typically be favored. Judges prefer arrangements that minimize disruption to a child’s environment, schooling, and relationships.
Child and spousal support are calculated based on a formula
Unlike the emotional scenes in the movies, child support and spousal support is calculated by statutory formulas that account for income, parenting time, and specific expenses. However, financial support isn’t guaranteed. If granted, these orders are fully enforceable, and failure to pay can result in a property lien or wage garnishment.
Mediation can be heated
Some movies portray divorce mediation as a calm conversation that bypasses the legal process and ends in an informal agreement. In reality, mediation is a series of negotiations and ends in a legally binding agreement. Mediated agreements are equally enforceable under the law.
Divorce is not a Hollywood story arc
In the real world, divorce doesn’t look anything like the way it’s portrayed in the movies. It’s not a series of emotional drama in the courtroom. It’s a legal process that involves a mountain of paperwork and official legal proceedings. Movies are made to elicit emotional reactions for entertainment, while courts aim to resolve disputes for peace of mind.
