If you have watched any modern dating shows, you would think flirting is much more complicated than it is. Granted, it is a gentle and sophisticated dance between two people who like each other and who enjoy each other’s banter, but it does not have to be as complicated as TV shows and movies make it out to be. If the concept of flirting seems scary or novel, we have put together some tips that can make you a master at it.
Understand Body Language
Body language and non-verbal cues are crucial parts of communication and connection. Both tell you if you are attracted to someone and if they are attracted to you. Once someone likes another, their body language changes to indicate this. Knowing how to take advantage of these physical changes can improve your flirting game.
A common thing that happens when people are attracted to each other is the closing of the space between each other. They may lean in to show they are interested and engaged or lock eye contact to not lose their interest.
Another body language tip is when someone copies another’s body language, typically because they experience strong positive emotions around them. Mirroring someone else’s voice, leg position, stance, hand gestures, and overall posture works well is mirroring. This shows you are attracted to them and can lead to better flirting outcomes.
Smile
Smiling can make a huge difference when flirting because it can show you are confident, help put people at ease, and exhibit a warm personality. Also, a Neuropsychologia study found that seeing a genuine smile activates pleasure regions in the brain and causes someone to seem more attractive.
Smiling also makes your date feel special and that they are doing something right. It is also a great way to deal with awkwardness during a date.
Practice with No Strings Attached
One of the things that makes flirting scary for many people is not knowing whether it will produce the results they want. If you are interested in someone, the aim is typically to get to know them and potentially date them. You want them to know you are into them and potentially get them to like you, even though that remains their decision. And therein lies the uncertainty and fear: what if they do not end up liking you?
Focusing on an outcome like this can paralyze you, which is why it is a good idea to practice flirting without a predetermined outcome in mind and this kind of pressure hanging over you. Fortunately, there are several options for doing this, one being video chat platforms.
Here, you can meet people who align with your preferences, flirt, and even go on virtual dates with them. With an Asian video chat, for example, you can flirt with and go on virtual dates with beautiful Asian women. Once you do this enough times, you will develop the flirting skills you need to let someone you like know that you do, and get the chance to know and date them.
Lead with Confidence
Everyone responds positively to confident but not arrogant people. Flirting already requires confidence, but you should cultivate it to be more effective at showing it. Even when you are scared about talking to someone you find attractive, try to be secure in what you say and do. Do not overthink things because that will make you look uncertain, which will break the veil of confidence you are portraying.
A good way to think about things is that you are already confident and are there to have a good time. You want your date to see you are a great fit, and you are because they are already talking to and responding to you. Also, always be authentic because that also means less thinking on your part.
Being confident will also make it easier to go with the flow. For example, you might be a bit clumsy and spill coffee on your shirt. Instead of panicking and being flustered, joke about it, get cleaned up and continue talking to them.
Doing this will also show them you can handle situations that may otherwise be embarrassing for others. It also shows you can deal with uncertainty, which is a positive quality to have in a partner.
Use Humor Sparingly
Once you have been talking to and flirting with someone for some time, you will know whether it is a good idea to turn things less serious and introduce some humor into your conversations. Leaning into humor is a great way to assess whether they have a sense of humor and what type of humor they enjoy if they do. It can also help you gauge how comfortable you are around each other, especially if you enjoy dark or risqué humor.
A good place to start is by poking fun at yourself in a non-patronizing way. You can also roast them lightly to see how they respond, but be open for them to do the same to you if you do this. Remember, you are looking for someone who will enjoy your authentic self, including your sense of humor and the type of humor you love.
Check Your Energy Levels
Much like body language, we typically match the energy of the person we are talking to. It is, therefore, important to have the right amount of energy when flirting. It should be just enough to keep them interested but not so much that they are repulsed by it. If the latter happens, pull back a bit and start again.
Also, consider the other person’s energy and match it. Feel the situation, assess it, and ramp things up if you want to. If the response is positive, you can take things further by complimenting them.
Flirting is a skill that you can learn like any other. It requires being confident, learning to leverage body language, and using tools like humor to keep things lighthearted and flowing. Whether you are flirting in person, over text, or chatting over video, keep practicing to get better at it.
